Let’s be real. We have to wear a lot of masks. The family mask. The work mask. The who-are-we-to-different-friends mask. There are so many versions of ourselves that we step into every day.

Different sides of ourselves come out, some true to our heart, others a bit more coaxed. Does that make any of those sides any less real or authentic? I’m not sure, but I’m leaning towards I don’t think so.

The thing is that we can never truly escape our imprinting. We are shaped by society, by our upbringing. We have been given a mask from the start, when we busted outta the womb. Pink, blue, and life’s hues were placed on our bodies and sworn to our minds.

I think being REAL means getting real about your history. Getting into what really happened to make all that is you, you. What did people, and the world tell you you were supposed to be?

Being authentic is work. It involves being aware of the layers placed onto you, what has merged with your skin. As you examine those layers and begin to unfold them, you’ll see the true version of yourself, shining like sun/moon/child/flower/yourchoiceofwords here. Through reflection, you’ll be able to catch the stories told to you, so that when the false narrative(s) start to creep up, you can catch it, stop it, and get back to writing your novel. This is your freaking adventure!

But the fabrications that veil us should not be discarded. Some of those veils are painful, others funny. We were terrible at varsity sports. Chuckle snort.

Our false narratives (or “their” false narratives) are a sign of our travels. To throw them in the dump is to disavow our pain, the marks and scars that we took to get here. Even our suffering is sacred. It shows us our strength. It reveals our character. It reminds us to not give up, and also, that we have chosen to become ourselves despite it all.

So, what is being authentic? I’ve talked about ways to find yourself, but the enacting your show bit is another bag.

I can’t tell you how to be authentic, but I can share some things that helped me.

• Doing what I fucking want with my life.
• Going where I fucking want.
• Wearing whatever the hell I want to.
• Getting out of the success trap.
• Getting into happiness.
• Focusing less on pleasing others.
• STOPPING comparing myself to others. Because what I do and how I do it is being done in a way that no one else has. And I’m cool with me.
• Being an artist. Most people told me I would never earn a dime in a creative vocation (but it’s not about the money. This is like the food my spirit lives on. Money is not the only means to survive. So give yourself permission to do things you love, even if they don’t make you rich).

So, what is your list?

Here’s some things to journal on/think on to get more into your bitchin’ self.

1. What are the parts of me that have been created by my family, by society?
2. What is the narrative I’ve been told?
3. What story do I want to write?
4. What character am I, and what are my super powers?
5. When do I feel most in my element?