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We all use people. 

We might befriend someone because we know that they’ll round out our lives in a certain way. One friend may be a great emotional support. Another might be a creative inspiration. Someone we admire might be a professional contact. 

We all gravitate to people that offer us something. 

You could also call that meeting our needs. We all have needs, and we create our lives around those needs. As time passes, we understand more about the type of people we want surrounding us. So, we have the opportunity to become more intentional about who and what comes into our lives.  

What about from the inside looking out? Have you taken stock of the people in your life and why they’re there? Often these moments of evaluation come at painful junctures, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Like the moment when you took a trip with a friend and realized that your car was packed with their stuff. There was never any room for you. 

It helps to know yourself. Are you the friend that’s encouraging? Creative? Fun? Independent, successful? Not that you’re just one! But it helps to step outside of yourself and take stock of your qualities. Because that’s what other people do; why leave the judging to them? 

There is always a reason someone wants to be close to us. You might give someone more confidence. You might be a great listener. You could be the most supportive person ever. But that doesn’t mean you have to – or should be those things. In fact, someone might have the wrong idea about you completely. You might give great relationship advice, but hey– you never signed up to be a private love columnist. Could be time to sign off. 

This is where the Being Used part comes in. You symbolize something to someone; you’re an idea of a person to them. This can be invigorating (like when someone worships you), or draining. Both extremes tend to be bad. 

So, what’s the remedy? Chew on this for some insight:
– What emotional exchange(s) are my relationships contingent on?
– Am I happy with those terms?
– What boundaries do I need to set with others, or with myself as I form/maintain my relationships?
– What am I attracted to in other people? What does this say about me?

Happy chewing. This is the stuff I love to talk about in my readings. 
Know yourself and your needs, so that you aren’t used and abused. Or, so you’re not the one using and draining. No one likes an energy vampire.