I saw a video Fiona Apple recently posted on TikTok, and it was inspiring. She talked about a technique she’s using to find greater joy throughout her day. Every time something positive happens – even something as small as noticing a tree – she pauses and focuses on the moment and experience for thirty seconds.

She’s doing so to help promote positive thinking.

So I tried this out yesterday. I was paying attention to things I usually do – like a beautiful flower, my dog, and the smell of my tea in the morning – but the sensation went deeper. This acute focus on appreciating what I love in the moment made my heart swell and anchored my spirit to the present. This technique grounded me in the physical world and got me out of my head.

Small techniques that help us stay grounded are fundamental to counter our future-based society and brains. It’s great to think about the future, but if we focus too much on the next task and the next goal, we erase the present.

Try it out, and see if it changes the flow of your day.

While I believe in positivity, I also believe in realism. There’s a lot of darkness in the world, and internally we also have to deal with our shadow. We can’t walk around like positivity zombies, blissed out and tuning out our problems or the stark realities of the world.

So what’s the cure? Being realistic. Noticing the darker corners of the soul without living there permanently. Opening the window, letting the sun and fresh air in while also seeing life’s torrential downpours.

The balance of positivity and struggle is what I call acceptance. Acceptance is the understanding that life is hard and we are never done growing but that we can choose peace and contentment within that framework. (This concept is so important to me that I created a card for it in the Shadowspeak Oracle).

I don’t believe in bliss and happiness. I believe in contentment. The world is a complicated place, but it can also be a beautiful place. Accept this dichotomy and fight like hell for what you hold dear.