This article is about how I came to date Tarot and Witchcraft. I can’t say it was love at first site, but it did became pretty serious quickly. To tell you about this romance, we need to meet the single artist-girl in her habitat, pre-Tarotmance.
Her habitat is of course, the artist’s studio. The last piece of art that I made before I started dating Tarot was an animation called the Sphinx, completed in 2009. This piece is a stop-motion animation about the Sphinx, gendered female, escaping from the watchful eye of the possessive and evil Great Pyramid. After eons of being the protector and guardian of the Pyramid, she is tired of being unappreciated and protecting someone else while she remains imprisoned.
As she works up the courage to leave, one of the first acts of defiance is the simple motion of moving her legs. After not moving for centuries, the ability to move and the recognition of her body as a source of strength is quite a revelation. As she further activates her body, she runs through the desert with new joy and hope. In her cat-like gallop, she rides through her own personal revelations.
Once alone and finally free, the Sphinx begins to explore her body for the first time. In doing so, she begins to masterbate which leads to a giant orgasm. Yes, I just went there, and no, I have NO regrets.
From her orgasm and vagina, great things emerge! Everything from ice cream sundaes, to monkeys and aliens are birthed from her liquid ecstasy. And so, the Sphinx’s orgasm becomes a creation story. From her womb and physical body, the world and all things we know are created.
If the cosmos were indeed created by someone, my bet is that they were made by a woman, not a man. Or perhaps, a gender fluid Spirit!
The reason I am telling you about this story is because it has great meaning for me, and it illustrates where I came from before I embraced the path of Tarot. I saw myself as a storyteller, as someone walking with old myths and ideas but strolling around with them in new shoes.
It shouldn’t be a huge surprise then that my next discovery as an artist and person led me to Tarot and to Witchcraft. After all, a girl who illustrates orgasming Sphinxes isn’t one to get involved in just anything ordinary. Or boring. Or oppressive.
Witchcraft embraces a feminine and feminist perspective. Like the Sphinx, in Witchcraft, the Goddess is the creator of the world, the divine being and the force behind life. She is called the Great Mother, the giver of life and the taker of it, too. Like the Sphinx, the Goddess is the empty space (hi, vagine!) that life springs forth from.
You know all the halloween stuff with cauldron’s? This comes from the old, pre-Christian Pagan world, where the Witch was connected to the hearth. Food, healing potions, and life itself was born from her magic and the stirring of her cauldron. The cauldron is sacred in Witchcraft, but it’s not just the place where potions are mixed. Its circular emptiness is the space where creation happens. The cauldron is symbolic of the body itself, the dark vagina and womb, and the cosmos from which life emerges from.
— Okay, now I am putting the cart before the horse and running wildly down this path of Witchcraft. But how did you get to all this Witch stuff? What was the defining moment for you?
Tarot Led me to Witchcraft
Well, Tarot actually led me to Witchcraft (Mom, I knew Tarot was evil! No, seriously tho. It’s NOT evil, that’s just TV talking crazy). After creating the Sphinx, I thought further about storytelling and archetypes. I also started to reflect back on several Tarot readings in my twenties from Nancy, and how transformative those experiences were as storytelling experiences.
I began to wonder what would happen if I explored the Tarot through my own personal lens; If, like the Sphinx, I put old symbols into new shoes and walked around a bit. Besides my curiosity, I also have to admit I was going through a rough patch in life. I was in a place of questioning my path and purpose in life (I’ll save you the tear-filled details). So part of me felt that creating a Tarot deck might be healing for me. And it actually was.
The Hermit in the Tarot is about walking a path in solitude, and being guided by one’s own inner light. The Hermit’s path is likely to go slowly, and stray far away from the normal paved road on the highway of life.
As I worked on my drawing of the Hermit, I began to think about my own path. How I had chosen to be an artist against my family’s wishes. How I often had to do everything on my own (like create my own animation studio at home!). Like the Hermit, I also needed a ton of alone time. And like the Hermit, I kept on pressing on despite feeling like the world at large didn’t always get me. So, in creating the Hermit painting I was able to explore a symbol deeply and find meaning and a visual way to understand my own life. This was becoming a healing and personal experience for me.
I also got to paint a feminine version of the Hermit, and that was pretty cool. Most decks show an old man on a mountain. But my Hermit begins in water and emerges on land. They are an old being (we all started as simple cells in the sea, my friends) with pink lips and a wise soul.
The Tools of the Witch in the Tarot Deck
The Tarot suits (Cups, Pentacles, Swords, and Wands) are all symbolized by a tool of Witchcraft, or used by the Magician (think alchemy, not stage antics). Each tool or suit also connects to an element. Elements are used in magickal work, by the Witch as well:
- Cups is water and is connected to feeling and emotion.
- Pentacles is earth and is connected to resources.
- Swords is air and is connected to matters of mind.
- Wands are fire and are connected to passion and creativity.As I learned about the symbolism of the Tarot suits, I was curious about learning more about this Witchcraft stuff. Just how did one use the elements in magick? What was a Witch, really?
I became book and knowledge hungry. I read as much as I could on the subject of Witchcraft, Paganism, and pre-Christian concepts by visiting ye old new age shop and scooping up book after book. And it completely fascinated me. Learning that Witches use to burn poppets of children to celebrate the life cycle? Yes, I was into that weirdness. Learning that Witches worship the Moon (which I also LOVE)? Yep. Definitely me. Learning that Witches worship the Goddess and the divine feminine?!? Why hello, you and me and the Sphinx are speaking the same language now, yep indeedy!
Learning that doing a spell wasn’t just praying for something to happen, but demanding it become (and making it) reality? The self-starter in me said HELL YEAH to that one.
So, my inner world and my connection to this spiritual study began. I started learning about meditation, dreams, astral projection, and totems – all areas embraced by the practicing Witch. I read about the Witches Wheel of the Year, and living in accordance with Nature’s rhythms (the basic tenets of Witchcraft). And some pretty profound personal stuff happened, but that’s my sacred experience that I am saving for the great novel that one day may be.
Finishing and Using my Tarot Deck
The creating of this Tarot deck took about a year (whilst I was also learning and studying more about Witchcraft). Once I finished the deck in 2010, I began using it for myself. But then I thought about the possibility of reading for others. What would that be like?
At the time I was also performing with my band, named Laughing Eye Weeping Eye. It was the perfect chance to try out this whole reading Tarot thang for someone else! Before one of our shows at the Empty Bottle in Chicago, I set out my Tarot sign and set up Witch shop.
And people wanted readings. They were LINING UP. I was amazed at how much there was an interest and a need for this. And when I read for others, I was shocked at how accurate the readings were, and the feedback I received from people was great. To say that I loved Tarot reading at this show (and the ones to follow) was an understatement.
And for me: Getting to look at an image and talk about it? Love. It was art in motion. Having the reading be accurate about someone’s life, AND seeing that it was a transformative experience for someone else? Love. Tarot was art, myth, storytelling, and service to others, all in one. It was most of the things I was interested in combined into one, personal and mystical star of a package.
And while I am giving you a summary of the AHA moment, the reality is that I spent years doing readings, touring, and learning more about Witchcraft before I dove into making it my full-time life, which happened in 2013. The deck and my work, which began publicly at Laughing Eye Weeping Eye shows, became my first deck and my magickal and professional moniker.
And where has the time gone? Into so many things, all magickal.
Fast forward to 2018 and a day in September when I write this. And what you have is a woman still completely and utterly entrenched in this world. I continue to deepen my connection to this work, but I do so with my creative practice.
In fact, my creative practice is essential to my work as a Witch. Paintings and writing are often about my work with specific deities, animal totems, or concepts related to mysticism. In turn, these creative projects become Tarot or oracle decks, and books. As I sort through my spiritual experiences with paint on paper, I have the chance to transcend physical reality and learn more about my existence, and, my Craft. And in turn, I share these ideas with others.
